Under Pressure20- Adommy

chapter 20
Adommy <3

this is a lot longer than expected :3
~~~

*Adam's POV*

The day went on slowly, so fucking slowly by myself. My head was still pounding and I felt lightheaded, but for more reasons than one…

I laid flat on my bed; crossed legs, one hand above my head, the other resting beneath my neck, a smile playing with my lips. I stared at my white ceiling, every now and then glancing at my artwork. What were the inspirations for these? I look at them, trying to feel what they showed, but next to none did. I do enjoy them and am proud of my work, except none of them really say what I was experiencing at that moment. They were just colors and sketches on paper.
I sighed, just noticing this now. I sat up on my bed, scratching the back of my head. What is the inspiration in my LIFE? I mean, what's the thing motivating me to go on with my life, to fulfill it? I never really knew… Until today.
I let the corner of my lips turn down, concentrating. That was actually the first time I stopped smiling since the kiss me and Tommy shared. I grinned, closing my eyes and remembering it. Then it hit me. HE was the inspiration in my life to go on, the person I was supposed to be with for the rest of my life, now I found him. My eyes sparked and I stood from my bed, hurrying over to my school bag and grabbing the art project. I handled it delicately and looked it over. "I need to get this done, perfectly," I said to myself. I sat at my desk and started to work on it carefully. It's going to be great.

It had been about two hours and I was even close to being done. I mean, it looked REALLY good, but I knew I would have to work the hardest I ever had to make it perfect. I was pretty surprised at how well it resembled him, using just the engraved mental picture in my head.
I sighed and leaned back in my chair. I looked over at my digital clock. 2:00 P.M. It will only be about another hour before Tommy got back. I smiled, and then decided to take two more pills, knowing that the minimum time between intakes was well over. I got up from the chair and stretched, stiff from sitting in the same spot for a while. I walked to the bathroom, swallowed two more pills, and then headed downstairs to grab something to snack on. Opening a cabinet above the stove, I heard the front door open and a few footsteps following with the shut of the door. The steps got louder, and I pulled my head back to see who just came inside. Neil set threw his bag onto a chair at the dining table and came into the kitchen, leaning against the counter. I gave him a glance then continued with my food search.
"Mom said she will be back, she went to go grab something at the store then pick up Tommy," he said, pulling himself up on the counter and resting his chin in his hands. I guessed that she just dropped him off from school, leaving him here to torture me with remarks and commands.
"Oh, okay." I responded, turning to the fridge to grab something to drink instead. He was silent, but I could tell that he was building up something to say, probably something that would make me pissed off. He just loved to start wars with people.
"So, ya know I saw what happened this morning with you and him," he edged, a devious glint in his eyes.
I looked at him weird. "With who?" I grabbed a Pepsi and stood in front of him. Here we go again. It was just like every other day, but, today I wasn't sure where this was going and this time in involved someone other than me, and it was Tommy. I could tell this was going to end in flames, but it was a test to see how small I could keep them and how long it will be before it explodes.

"Tommy." He said calmly, face still in his hands. "And I know you know what I'm talking about now. Don't you?" he antagonized. I felt my face heat up slightly, partially because of knowing exactly what he was talking about, and partially because I was slightly angry with him, knowing nothing good could come out of this.
I stared him dead in the eye. "What?" I narrowed my eyes. I didn't want to give a straight-forward answer, just in the tiniest hope that he wasn't talking about what I think he was talking about.
He rolled his eyes and sat straight up. "Don't play stupid, Adam. I'm your brother, I know you. But just so we're clear, I'm talking about that kiss you had."
I gripped the can tight, denting it. Where was he going with this? "Yeah, and?"
He glanced at the can, smirked, then looked back at me. "Struck a nerve there, didn't I?"
I sighed. "Just get on with it!" I said, really just annoyed now.
"Fine. Are you going to tell him how you will eventually mess this up, or will I have to?"
What the FUCK? "What the fuck are you talking about?!"
He shrugged, making me furious with him at his content demeanor. He can NOT just say that to me without paying for it.

"You know what I'm talking about." He hopped off the counter and stood in front of me. I was about a foot and a half taller than him, forcing him to look up at me when he talked, and me to look down. "Dating just never ends well for you. Something always goes wrong."
That fire was beginning to spread throughout me. He had no idea what I have been through while dating. "Why do you care? Why are you saying this?" it was as much as a question as much as it was a command.
"Believe it or not, I am looking out for you." He put on an innocent face that would've fooled anyone, but me. "Don't you think it's not such a good idea to be dating him AND be living in the same house together?" he raised an eyebrow.
I heard another pop of the aluminum before I had the sense to put it down before it would crack. I clenched my fists together. I already thought of all the consequences, good or bad, when I had time alone by myself today, and I certainly didn't need some 13 year old brat telling me about them. "Why don't you just stay out of my fucking business!" I yelled.
He took a step back and put his hands up defensively, kind of sarcastically, because he knows that I'm too smart to hurt him and risk getting in trouble.  "Well when your business comes into my house, it becomes my business too!" he said, almost as loud as me.
"Well it's not. And what I choose to do is my decision and I don't need YOU to help me, or say ANYTHING about it, okay!?" I grabbed my pop and smacked him in the arm before deciding to go out the back door and to our sunroom. I slammed the door and watched him smirk as he strolled off to the dining room. I wanted to smack the smirk off his face so badly. How dare he say that to me? To his own brother? It would be better if he truly cared, but he didn't; it was only for the fun of making me suffer.

I sat in my rocking chair, facing the large glass window that looked over our backyard. I always came out here to think or to escape the world. Aside from sitting at my art desk, the backyard was my favorite place to go when I'm alone. So peaceful, so real, so beautiful.
What I liked most is that we had a deck surrounding a hot-tub in the back, completely fenced all around giving me the most wanted privacy. No one really came out here besides me, except when my parents would have parties or when Neil would have sleepovers.
I decided to leave the sunroom and go sit outside, considering it was nice out. I walked over our green grass and up the stairs of the wood deck. I took a seat in one of the black outdoor –chairs and stared up at the sky.

What if I do screw things up with Tommy? What if it does end up being like all of the other times before? Could this all be going too fast to keep up with?

I sighed heavily and rubbed my temples. The only thing I knew that would calm me down and clear me of my thoughts was to sing. I wanted to pick a song that fit my mood, and a next to perfect one came into my head. I was always intrigued by it and I loved everything about it from the melody to the lyrics. It was deep and mysterious and soothing. I sang as loud as I could and let everything I had in me go… Including some tears.

"All around me are familiar faces
Worn out spaces, worn out places
Bright and early for the daily races
Goin' nowhere, goin' nowhere

And their tears are fillin' up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin' are the best I ever had
I find it hard to tell ya, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very, very
Mad world, mad world "

*Tommy's POV*

I waved good-bye to Rose as I headed into Mrs. Lambert's car. "Thank you, Leila." I smiled. She smiled back at me and drove us home. It was a silent ride, but not really awkward. I've gotten pretty comfortable with her by now in this short time.

We approached the house and we parked in the garage. I helped her carry in some of the grocery bags and we headed inside. I saw Neil sitting at the dining table, but I couldn't find Adam. After I put the groceries away with her help, I asked Neil where Adam was. He never looked up from his paper and motioned his hand towards the back door, leading from the kitchen. I slid the glass door open then shut. I looked around the sunroom, but didn't find him there either. I glanced around, then he caught my eye, sitting outside on the deck which I had no clue was there. He seemed like he was talking or something, and he was in deep thought. I opened the door to outside quietly and instantly I froze as soon as the most beautiful, silky, angelic voice filled my ears. It was unmistakably Adam's. I took a few steps out the door and shut it, walking silently towards him as if the sound was drawing me in. I knew the song instantly; Mad World. Such a compelling song. But it sounded much more convincing and incredible when Adam sang it. My heartbeats kept the tempo with him as he sang.

"Children waitin' for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher, tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin' are the best I ever had
I find it hard to tell ya, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world "

I felt the truth behind every word as he sang. I was mesmerized by his voice. I found myself sitting on the steps as I closed my eyes, focusing on the lyrics and the soft tone of his voice.

When he stopped I looked up at him. His eyeliner was running and you could trace the tracks of his tears. My heart clenched a little. Why was he crying? What happened?

He seemed so lost in his own world, staring up at the blue sky. He didn't even realize that I had come around.
I stood up slowly and walked quietly over to him, not wanting to startle him.
"That was beautiful," I said in a low tone, almost a whisper.
He blinked a couple of times then looked away and wiped his eyes. I came over to him and sat in a chair next to his. I smiled warmly, truly blown away at his voice. "I never knew you could sing like that, it's a real gift." He looked back at me and smiled. His light eyes matched the blue sky and were like glittering crystals.
"Thanks," he sighed.
I gave a concerned look. "Everything okay?"
He nodded lightly. "Yeah, just been thinking. Do you want to go inside?" he offered.
I shook my head. "Out here with you is perfect."