Call Me Crazy 6.0

Chapter Six: Not What I Expected
*Tommy's POV*

Well, to be honest, after Alysha practically threatened me at lunch, I was a little apprehensive to come to school today. Thank god it's Friday. I didn't really pay attention before, but now that I was reminded that Charlie was indeed here, I kept subconsciously checking over my shoulder, looking around, and watching my back. I mean, what if he wanted revenge? What if he was going to attack me when I least expected it? Every time I was in the halls my heart would pick up just a bit in nervousness and my eyes would shoot everywhere. It was nerve-racking.

I was close to shaking when it was second period where I knew he could be, since that's the last place I saw him. Well, I guess I didn't "see" him. I don't really think throwing punches and breaking his nose exactly counts as just "seeing" someone. I have to say, him bleeding was a nice sight though. I was thankful when I finally spotted Rose backstage. She noticed how distant I was and came over to me, putting a hand on my shoulder.
"Hey, Tommy. Are you okay? You seem a little…jumpy," she asked me with concern. I went to push back my hair, only to spot that it was still good and I didn't need to fix it. Habit, I suppose.
"I don't know," I sighed, folding my arms over my chest. I pursed my lips, building confidence before speaking. "Uh, do you…do you know if Charlie is here?" I said in a weak voice, glancing around.
Her eyes frowned and her face dropped. I knew she was friends with him before she realized who he really was. You know it hurts to find out someone isn't who you think they are.

She shook her head. "He got kicked out," she told me.
I eyes widened. "Really? Why? When?" I blurted, getting anxious.
She ran her fingers through her hair. "Well," she sighed, "When he came back off of suspension, he came here looking for you or something," she said apprehensively. I felt my throat began to close. He was looking for me? I think the color from my face just disappeared. "I don't totally know what happened because I wasn't there yet, but I think he really wanted to see you. So then I guess someone said some gay remark about him and he snapped. Then I walked in and he was all in someone's face shouting at them. And since what happened before, he got thrown out of drama and put into an anger-management group." I stammered back some, putting a hand to my forehead. Rose looked pained that she told me and she took my hand away, holding it caringly. I wouldn't look at her—my mind was too busy thinking of ways to escape this place. "Tommy, don't be worried. He knows not to mess with you again," she said, attempting to lighten up my mood. It wasn't working. "Besides, this was the only place that you had class with him in, right? So since he's gone from here, you're not going to see him."

I looked up at her, and took a breath in. "I think I'm gonna sit down for a minute," I told her. She nodded understandingly and I walked away, picking the spot backstage where me and Adam…hung out during the talent show. But only to cry.
~

I told mom—Leila— about my detention for today and I guess she pulled some strings, probably playing some sort of guilt card with them, so it turned out that I only had to go for one-hour instead of the usual two-and-a-half hours to three hours. I had a ton of homework to make up, but honestly I was going to bribe Neil into doing some of it for me. He's smart and with a little help he could get it done and probably faster then I could've. But, I still needed something to kill the time. I shrugged back into my seat in the corner of the class, away from the others that were there. I sifted through my bag and stumbled across something smaller then the rest. I pulled it out, realizing it was the book Allyson had given me.

I sighed to myself, trying to erase all concerns I had at the moment and attempting to focus on reading. Why not? Reading is an escape— something I really needed right now. I flipped it open, not really soaking in all of the words as I read them. But something caught my eye, and my heart went cold.

Noah reached for his guitar, remembering his father as he did so, thinking how much he missed him.

Instead of an escape into a new world, I got a smack in the face from reality. Since when was the last time I had thought about Dad? I was so selfish—I hadn't seen him since his funeral and burial. I hated myself for it, I really did. But then there was this feeling that I had known all too well in the recent weeks. I missed him so much. He was the only person who ever had talked to me (before he…passed). He had taught me how to play bass, encouraged me in school, and he even was the first person who truly accepted me, gay or not. And he was proud of me. He'd say that I was brave and a good kid and that I meant something in the world. You know, he got me. There wasn't any lies, any bending of the truth to make myself someone I'm not. And he's gone. He has been for three years. And I ignored that. When I was grieving him I should have been living up to the potential that he had seen in me. What was I even doing here, thinking about him and mourning when I could be with him, see him again?

Many, many questions and thoughts and events popped into my head that I had to say to him, but I couldn't. At least not like I used to. But I could still go to him. I missed him so what's stopping me? I wanted to talk to him. I needed to. I needed to hear his voice saying that everything will be fine because I'm strong and can do anything. I just needed him.
~


*Allyson's POV*

"I really think you should go see Tommy," Rose told me, waving an apple slice before crunching down on it.
"Yeah, I know," I sighed, trying to get a head-start on my project due on Monday. But I was having a tough time concentrating.
"No like, I'm really serious." I looked over at Rose who had a worried expression on her face. Honestly, she never has one with her optimistic attitude, and it concerned me.
"Why? What happened?" I asked, folding my papers away.
"He seems to be nervous about the whole Charlie thing…" she trailed off, glancing away into the distance. Then she kind of stared off into space in deep thought.
"And?" I edged on, nudging her in the side. She snapped out of it and grabbed another piece of apple. "Well you know how Charlie got kicked out, like, a week ago?" she left hanging in the air. It took me a moment, but the realization did strike me.

"You did not," I warned, already knowing the answer when her eyes guilty. "Rose!" I slapped her in the arm. "What did you say?" I exclaimed. I was there when the whole shebang with him went down and it was something I was planning on not telling Tommy.
"Well he came up to me all sad and scared and I felt bad and I just wanted him to know that Charlie wasn't there since he asked so I just told him everything!" she blurted out in one big sentence, wincing away from me, probably by reaction from my previous response. I stared at her like What the hell were you thinking?! and then I stood up and grabbed my bag.
"Sometimes I swear you're the blonde one," I mumbled. She truly looked sorry, but sometimes she just doesn't know when to shut her mouth.
"you know where I'm going—be back later," I called leaving her front door.

I drove slowly to school, since I knew Tommy had detention and it would still be a minute before he was let out. I was contemplating on what I was going to do or say. I finally decided that I wasn't going to say anything to him unless he brought up the subject—then I'll tell him the truth, aside from what Rose already told him. We had at last got him to say Adam's name out loud, and now what if he shuts down again? Dammit! Sometimes I wonder how I got pulled into this to begin with…

As I pulled up into the school parking lot, my phone starting dinging in my bag and I parked to scramble around for it. Luckily I got it before the person hung up. Not checking the caller-ID or the number, I pressed the talk button and said "Hello?"
"Hey."
I recognized the voice immediately. "Tommy! Hi! Aren't you—" he cut me off.
"Can you come and pick me up from detention?" he asked quietly like he was trying not to get caught.
"Of course. But I'm already here, so I'll just—"
"Great, I'll be right out," he told me. I heard a click and it was silent. Before I could think anything of it, I saw him walking out the door and to my car. He wiped his eyes and hopped in the passenger's seat. Then I knew he wasn't talking so weakly because he didn't want another detention, but because he was crying. I felt my face drop. I parted my lips to say something but before I could get anything out he said, "I want to see my dad."

It was silent driving down the highway after I'd called my mom to make sure it was okay. While I was at it, I asked her to tell Leila about it since Tommy wasn't going to. He didn't seem like talking to anybody. So I knew that Tommy had a stepdad, Stan, but he always called him by his first name, and never as delicately as he had said "dad". He never mentioned his real dad. Ever. I'd just assumed that he abandoned them after he was born or something. To be blunt, when Tommy told me where his dad's grave was, I was utterly shocked. That possibility just didn't cross my mind.

I heard a muffled sniffle and I glanced over to the blonde who was staring out the window. Then I wondered how long it had actually been since he's seen him last. That's when it hit me. I felt so bad for him. I could tell he really missed him. I turned back to the road to see an exit coming up.
"Turn there," Tommy mumbled. I got off the freeway and it was soon just a little town. At a red light, I waited for his directions. "Make a right and the place will be on your left," he said. I nodded and followed his orders. Sure enough the cemetery lay across the street. As I pulled in, it had an open wrought-iron gate with ornate patterns carver into it. There were trees everywhere—lining the oaths, on the edge of the property, between the graves. It was strangely beautiful, and I felt almost guilty of thinking of this place as such.

The earliest graves had the more modern labels which were plated stones into the grass above the casket. But the further we went into it the larger and older they got. Tommy pointed down a side-path that lead down a small decline of a hill. When it flattened out again, it rounded off like a circle to be able to turn around. I guessed that his father was here, so I killed the engine and parked. There was a slight tension in the air as I waited for him to do something to change his state from a depressed statue. Although, could I blame him?

He looked at his lap, then his arm, took a deep breath in and left. I was deciding whether to stay or go, to let him be or comfort him. My hand was on the handle and I pushed the door open, stopping a moment to stand by the car. I just held my spot—my mind saying wait and my heart saying move. But as Tommy stepped gingerly up to a two-foot headstone, my heart dropped. I saw his shoulders shake with silent sobs and he paused, looking at the ground, nest to where his dad would be buried six feet under. A moment later he dropped to his knees, softly gliding his fingers over the engraved marble.
"Hi Daddy."